"Sore, Tired and Recovering"

I'm sore! I'm tired! I'm laying around in my PJ's! Yesterday was a long day. We didn't get home from the hospital until about 6:00 p.m. Sleeping was fine, until I woke up with pain. I want to shake the hand of the person that invented pain pills (and I'm not talking about whiskey).

I have about three ugly marks on the my left side where the chest port was placed. Oh, it felt nice when Jayce accidentally slapped it (note to self: do not bend down so close to 11 month old)! I have my most painful incision under my right arm where the three lymph nodes were removed. I haven't seen the rest, it is all bandaged up and has to stay that way until Wednesday when I see the surgeon.

On the up side, I couldn't have had a nicer surgeon, nurses and other hospital personnel. It went just as smooth as it could have.

Also, I couldn't have a nicer family! Mom and Dad are taking care of the house and the kids while I rest. I got several nice phone calls, a gift from a friend, flowers from my daughter to brighten my day and another flower delivery from my Aunt and Uncle and Grandpa and Grandma. When you feel sore and cruddy, it is nice to feel loved!

"The Game Plan"

Okay, it's game on! The plan is in place, the team is gearing up (okay, well the surgical team is probably always geared up), and I'm getting my game face on. I'd be lying if I said I was hyped up and raring to go. Maybe if I had cheerleaders...I don't know.

We are going with a lumpectomy. That will be preceded by a sentinel node biopsy (so they can make sure no cancer has spread its nasty self into my lymph nodes. There are a couple of other pre-game routines. The day before surgery, I get to visit nuclear medicine and have radioactive dye injected (too bad I already used a Spider-man reference). The morning of surgery I get to start off with what they call a needle localization. Which basically is like a biopsy only they leave a little needle sticking out of you (they promise to tape it down) to help guide the surgeon to the right spot. Sounds look a good time!

Then, I finally make it over to the hospital for the big game. While we are at it, the chest port will be placed (which will be used later for my chemo). The most important thing about this game is who wins...and I have my doubts that cancer will come out of this victorious!

"Swimming in Surgical Options"

Today was the day. I had been dreading it and looking forward to it. I want a game plan and I want no part of this process. It was our third meeting with the surgical oncologist and all test results were in, biopsies and MRIs accomplished, and surgical recommendations on the table.

I didn't like it one bit. There was so much to think about and too many options! There could be a lumpectomy (also known as partial mastectomy) followed by radiation, a mastectomy was offered without radiation (with or without reconstruction surgery), or a double mastectomy (with or without reconstruction). My head is swimming in the pool of options and trying to determine what is right for me?

The tumor (aggressive, as she keeps reminding me) was a little bigger than first thought putting it between a stage 1 and stage 2 for size. Still early she reassured me.

Right now, I feel like I am overwhelmed with information. I will talk, read, pray and hopefully make the right decision.

"The Big Date"

I'm nervous as a school girl about to go out on "the big date." That big date is tomorrow, but at least I will have a chaperon! All tests results are in and it is time to sit down with my husband and the surgical oncologist and decide what to do!

I've read article after article of Seventeen magazine so I'll know what to expect! Well, in my case, I've read lots of "patient education" brochures, books and pamphlets. I know the terms from lumpectomy and mastectomy to sentinel node biopsy and adjuvant therapy.

But, now it is time to face all the unknowns. What will she suggest for me? Will I agree? Will the timing work out? How long will this journey take? Will it all be a big success at the end? I hope to get many answers from the doctor tomorrow, but I also know that most of the answers will come from God and that is where I have to keep my focus despite these nervous distractions!