"Me Vs. the Needle, the Remix"

Deja Vu (or maybe the Twilight zone)! I arrived for breast biopsy number two (same song, different breast)! The same nice nurse leads me into the same dimly lit room. She remembers me and tells me that I know the drill. Only this time, it is a different radiologist, and apparently the rest of his family! Okay, not really. But, it looked like I was going to have an audience.

This guy took a lot longer than the first person. It seemed to be going on forever in my mind and right when I thought we were just about done he informs me that I should be good and "numbed up" now.  What?  I'm just now numb, we haven't even done this thing yet?  Geez! As the real show starts, the audience starts filtering in (being fashionably late I guess). As each person enters the little room, nice nurse #1 introduces them to me..."This is Dr. so and so." and "now we have Dr. such and such." This is the downside to being in a University hospital (lots of eyeballs on you)!

It's finally done, I'm taped, wrapped and ready to go when the nice nurse goes over the post-biopsy instructions one last time. Suddenly, I'm very interested in what she is saying! Can you repeat that last part? Sure, she says she will even highlight it for me! She takes me back to the waiting room where my husband has been reading dogeared magazines (I guess). She hands him the sheet of instructions and points out that highlighted portion. For 48 hours: no lifting, pulling, pushing, exercise, COOKING, WASHING DISHES, any activity using arm movements! Did you catch that?  Sometimes, there IS a silver lining!

"The Big Needle"

Almost a week later, I faced off against the big needle. My nerves were all over the place! I had an ultrasound-guided core needle biopsy. After finding the area they wanted to biopsy with the ultrasound, the radiologist injected local anesthetic. That stings, but not for long. After that, I couldn't tell you what they did because I certainly wasn't going to peek! After the hollow needle was placed, a vacuum type device helps suck out a piece of the bad blob. They tape the tiny incision with steri-strips, cover it with a dressing and wrap a big ace bandage around you.

I was told my doctor would call me with the results in a few days. I was sore for a bit, but glad to have it over. I honestly thought I would now be able to move on and put this whole deal behind me!

"The Big Squish"

Two days after I saw my primary care physician, I found myself parking my car in front of a building that featured large letters spelling out "cancer center." Is that some kind of scare tactic? Must have been a major design flaw because I was here for a simple mammogram and was much more worried about squishing and flattening than cancer. The diagnostic mammogram was a snap. I was shocked! All that complaining I'd heard from other women about the pressing and pushing and squishing and squashing didn't amount to a thing! I was so relieved. I was then told the radiologist wanted an ultrasound. Well, having just given birth 10 months ago, I was intimately familiar with ultrasounds! This wasn't going to be a bad visit at all!

Until...(you knew this was too easy)...the radiologist herself came into the room and told me and my husband that we needed to schedule a biopsy. A biopsy!!! Wait, are we ruling out a cyst? She didn't exactly answer and I didn't take that as a good sign. Plus, doesn't a biopsy involve a large needle? Needles and I do not exactly get along. In fact, we have a long history of a less than stellar relationship. But, as I am finding out, this was just one bump in a long road ahead.