Deja Vu

I was pretty sure Punxatawny Phil had come and gone this year, but it seems that I was wrong! I had chemo treatment number eight a few days ago and the exact same side effects popped up like a bad penny. So precise that I ended up with the same mouth sore on my tongue in the very same spot!

According to the American Cancer Society, Paclitaxel (Taxol) is an extremely potent chemotherapy drug, often producing a number of side effects in patients. Side effects include severe allergic reactions, cardiovascular problems, infections developing from white blood cell deficiencies, complete hair loss, joint and muscle pain, irritation at the injection site, low red blood cell count, mouth or lip sores, numbness or burning in the hands and feet (peripheral neuropathy), and stomach upset.

While medications designed to prevent or treat nausea, vomiting and decreased white blood cell counts are available, there are currently no treatments for other serious taxane-induced side effects, particularly nerve damage.

That makes me a little nervous. The peripheral neuropathy in my hands and feet is back in full force. It never went away between treatments, but seemed to improve. I hope that any nerve damage rights itself in time when all my treatments are done. I hope it is not permanent!

Right now, I am battling the muscle and joint pains with prescription pain medication. It literally hurts from head to toe! When I woke up this morning, the muscles near my ears even hurt. I have shooting pains my back and stomach muscles as well as my down my legs and into my ankles. The pills help as long as I stay on top of it and don't let them wear off (which I usually do)!

I'm looking forward to feeling better in a few days and enjoying that normal time again before I hit the "repeat" button two more times.

That Normal Time

I am enjoying that time period that hangs between chemo treatments where I feel normal. I have recovered from the side effects and a retch-inducing stomach virus I picked up when my counts were low. The downside to this period of time is that it means the next treatment is just around the bend. Usually time flies, but this whole process feels like it is dragging its feet like a grade schooler on his way to the principal's office.

My most recent chemo was my first of the drug Taxol. I felt different than I had before. I was told that this drug comes with side effects that include muscle and joint pain. My oncologist told me to take something for this and call if over-the-counter drugs were not "cutting the mustard." So, a few days after chemo, I called! My whole body hurt, especially my back and ankles. Pain pills helped and it slowly went away after about a week.

The peripheral neuropathy hung around. That is numbness and tingling in the hands and feet. I still have that and am not sure if it has improved somewhat or I'm just getting used to it! I bought some new tennis shoes recently, but have no idea if they are comfortable!

"Hats, Teeth and Other Misc. Stuff"

I'm in the middle. It's been two weeks since my second round of chemo and it is just  less than two weeks until chemo number three. These are supposed to be my "good days." They are, from a chemo standpoint. However, my mouth has betrayed me. The pain from having my tooth pulled at the oral surgeon's last week is lingering. Way. Too. Long. I don't know what is taking it so long to heal, but a hurting mouth makes everything a little less fun.

I also don't know what to do about my hair. What's left of it, that is. I'm in mandatory hat mode. Without the hat, I look a dog with the mange. I've lost 75 to 80% of my hair. I'm just guessing. I know that God knows the number of every hair on my head. That must be an easier job for him now. For now, I need more hats I guess. My Mom bought me a cute one and my Aunt surprised me by sending me a hat made just for me! It was a nice surprise!

 



I'm also very appreciative of those who have made food for us. It has made life much easier! Thank you to Kristin Steelman for the three frozen, homemade meals! They didn't spend much time in my freezer! Thanks to my Mom for leaving some chili in the freezer! Thanks to Val for always surprising us with dinner! Thanks to my cousin Joni for the Applebee's gift card (we recently enjoyed some 'car side to go')! Love you all!

"A Holding Pattern"

I feel like a car that has been parked in the garage. I haven't been out much since my surgery. I've been to the doctor and to church this past Sunday. I dusted off the cobwebs and took a walk around the neighborhood because the weather was so nice yesterday. I pushed Jayce in the stroller while Kaylee lapped me on her scooter. Everything I have read tells me that exercise helps with everything, but after 30 minutes of pushing that stroller up my hilly streets I wasn't sure what it was helping!

I'm happy that my surgical pathology report was such a good one, but I wish the surgical site would hurt less. I don't want to be a wimp about it, but I thought it would feel better than this by now. It has improved, I try to remind myself. While I cope with the end of step one, my mind wanders to next step.

I'm back in a holding pattern, not knowing what to expect once again. Next week, I have appointments with the medical oncologist and the radiation oncologist. I guess I will find out more about the plan at that point or I may face more tests first. I just don't know, but I do know that I don't feel ready to take on the unknown of chemo. I think I'll just stay in the garage a little longer, it really isn't that bad in here.

"Hurry Up and Heal!"

Patience has never been my virtue. So, sitting around and healing from surgery is a difficulty of its own! I have time off work, my Mom is here taking care of meals and the baby! In fact, she is even taking Kaylee shopping for "back to school" clothes." I have more time on my hands than I've had in....I can't even remember when! But, it is totally useless.

There are a ton of wonderful things I could get done, only I can't! Healing is a tiring job. Sometimes, I'm awake and can have enjoyable conversations, but I can't seem to concentrate on a book without falling asleep! I just slept all night for the first time since the surgery. The good news is that I got some good sleep, the bad news is that I went a long time without a pain pill! It wasn't a lovely morning!

Mom washed my hair for me (my arms have the usage of a T-Rex right now). I took a bath and had some help brushing my hair. By the time I had fresh PJ's on, I felt like I had run a half marathon!

I have to remind myself that it is okay to slow down, rest and just heal.

"Sore, Tired and Recovering"

I'm sore! I'm tired! I'm laying around in my PJ's! Yesterday was a long day. We didn't get home from the hospital until about 6:00 p.m. Sleeping was fine, until I woke up with pain. I want to shake the hand of the person that invented pain pills (and I'm not talking about whiskey).

I have about three ugly marks on the my left side where the chest port was placed. Oh, it felt nice when Jayce accidentally slapped it (note to self: do not bend down so close to 11 month old)! I have my most painful incision under my right arm where the three lymph nodes were removed. I haven't seen the rest, it is all bandaged up and has to stay that way until Wednesday when I see the surgeon.

On the up side, I couldn't have had a nicer surgeon, nurses and other hospital personnel. It went just as smooth as it could have.

Also, I couldn't have a nicer family! Mom and Dad are taking care of the house and the kids while I rest. I got several nice phone calls, a gift from a friend, flowers from my daughter to brighten my day and another flower delivery from my Aunt and Uncle and Grandpa and Grandma. When you feel sore and cruddy, it is nice to feel loved!