"Squishing and Burning"

Okay, the burning hasn't started yet. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. The squishing, however, has been completed and with good results! I went in for a mammogram and all is well! That, obviously, is MUCH better news than the news resulting from my first mammogram.

The burning is about to commence. I met with my radiation oncologist the day after the mammogram. I was taught all about what is to come. My 30 rounds of radiation therapy starts Wednesday. The most interesting part is my radiation oncologist himself. First, I'm thrilled to see him (since seeing him means I've completed chemo)! Second, he's funny.

When it was time for me to "get into a gown" during my exam. The nurse stayed in the room with me and he stood in front of the door and pulled the privacy curtain in front of him saying "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain." He did it in his best spooky, crazy wizard voice. He then told me everything he needed to know to be a radiation oncologist he learned in third grade - how to write on yourself (or in this case someone else). After taking a black marker to my skin, and drawing lines and dots, I got to keep the marker! Perk! Actually, they just aren't allowed to use it on anyone else. Sterile marker! I will keep it in case I want autographs from everyone when this is all done! You never know.

"Chemo Tricks Me Back"

I am in the post-chemo feeling bad stage. I had chemo Friday afternoon and the next day my Mom flew back to Tulsa. She had flown in the Saturday before to help during the week because chemo was supposed to be on Tuesday. That's just not the way things turned out.

We went in on Tuesday, had my port accessed, lab work drawn and saw the oncologist. At that point, he was concerned about something "abnormal" and wanted me to see the surgeon. So, instead of chemo I got another mammogram and ultrasound. The next morning, we went back for an appointment with my surgeon. Everything turned out okay, it was just a lot of scar tissue.

But, this pushed chemo to Friday. Mom's plane ticket pushed her back home on Saturday. It was still a huge help having her here. A couple of people from church brought a meal today and that will help this week too.

Right now, I'm just sleepy. Good night!

"The Big Squish"

Two days after I saw my primary care physician, I found myself parking my car in front of a building that featured large letters spelling out "cancer center." Is that some kind of scare tactic? Must have been a major design flaw because I was here for a simple mammogram and was much more worried about squishing and flattening than cancer. The diagnostic mammogram was a snap. I was shocked! All that complaining I'd heard from other women about the pressing and pushing and squishing and squashing didn't amount to a thing! I was so relieved. I was then told the radiologist wanted an ultrasound. Well, having just given birth 10 months ago, I was intimately familiar with ultrasounds! This wasn't going to be a bad visit at all!

Until...(you knew this was too easy)...the radiologist herself came into the room and told me and my husband that we needed to schedule a biopsy. A biopsy!!! Wait, are we ruling out a cyst? She didn't exactly answer and I didn't take that as a good sign. Plus, doesn't a biopsy involve a large needle? Needles and I do not exactly get along. In fact, we have a long history of a less than stellar relationship. But, as I am finding out, this was just one bump in a long road ahead.

"I do not have good news"

Breast cancer at age 38 was not on my "to do" list. My plan was to save all major health issues for when I got older. I would have more time, no children in the house, fewer responsibilities, and...(wait)...yep, I think I just heard God laugh at my plan. I was far from laughing two and a half weeks ago when the doctor called and said "I do not have good news." I didn't really have to hear more. I knew what that meant.

I was having pain in my right breast on and off for a few weeks. I knew it was nothing and that going to the doctor about it would be just downright silly, but I finally decided to check it out anyway. She felt a lump. She called it a grape and had me feel it too. I still wasn't worried. After all, she didn't seem worried and told me not to "freak out." She ordered a diagnostic mammogram and I sighed inside (because I really thought I could avoid the big squish for two more years)! While I was bemoaning the mammogram (in my head) she explained that a biopsy could come next, but even still that was nothing to "freak out" about. The last thing she said was "if it is breast cancer, then you have a free pass to freak out!"  Honestly, who really thought that was going to happen?!