"Baby Chick Fuzz"

My hairdo, which is super easy to care for since it actually consists of no hair, has changed just a wee bit. Kaylee (my 10-year-old daughter) calls it my "baby chick fuzz." It looks like I've grown in a titch of hair between treatments. It's soft, light and barely there! It delights Kaylee, for whatever reason, who likes to rub the "baby chick fuzz." Unfortunately, I noticed when I rubbed my head recently some fuzz fell out. Bummer. At least I'm entertaining my child!

Despite being a lot smoother, there are other things caused by chemo that I have been able to avoid so far. I was given a laundry list of possible side effects and worried about which ones might manifest in me. I have not had mouth sores (a big one on my worry list), fingernail changes or a metallic taste in my mouth.

I have had shingles, a bladder infection, tummy issues (to put it delicately), loads of bad heartburn, queasiness, major lack of energy, body aches (flu-like aches and pains), fatigue, headaches, hair loss and strep throat (you don't appreciate your immune system until it doesn't work as well as it did)!

The best one is "Chemo Brain." It doesn't matter if you actually have this cognitive impairment/fuzzy thinking/forgetfulness that can be caused by chemo. It's a great excuse for everything! Oh, was I supposed to clean the cat's litter box? So sorry, must have been chemo brain! Did the baby have a dirty diaper when I handed him to my husband? Yes, he did! Sorry I didn't notice, must have been chemo brain! Thanks for changing him anyway! See, there should be some perks! 

"Unexpected Weekend Trip"

So, that wasn't exactly the weekend that I had planned. Let me back up. After my chemo on Wednesday, I went home to rest until I noticed that my port was hurting and even more uncomfortable when trying to go to sleep. So, I went into the clinic on Friday morning. After a chest X-ray, a dye test (which was painful) and a CT scan, I was told to go to the hospital. My port had a crack/a leak and had to come out. This was not welcome news, especially since I'm not done using it yet!

The surgery team came to my hospital room and told me it would be a "no big deal" 15 minute procedure to take the port out. I, personally, do not like the idea of being wide awake and nothing but numbed while someone is cutting on me! I could tell they were having problems. A nurse then came in to hold my hand while they worked. They went through a whole bottle of lidocaine because I kept feeling it! About 45 minutes after they started the "easy 15 minute procedure" it was done and the doctor declared it the hardest one he has ever taken out. Great. They stitched me up, gave me pain pills and put me on an IV med. I was hoping to come home then.

Instead, I had to miss Kaylee's first ever basketball game on Saturday afternoon because they made me stay two nights! Due to the possibility of chemo leakage, I had to be given three rounds of some antidote medication about 24 hours apart. I got the last one just before Sunday evening and was then allowed to go home! I'm sore and tired (no such thing as sleep in a hospital). Now, I have to see a doctor to figure out what we do about the rest of the chemo treatments. I won't be getting another port, that much I have decided.

"Last Dance"

Sorry, my dance card is full! There is no more room for dancing with the Red Devil! I know we may have done a waltz, a jig or even a line dance (I know we did not tango)! However, despite hooking up with the Red Devil six times, literally (via IV that is), there will be no more trips to the ballroom with this nasty guy!

That is something to for which to be thankful! Yesterday, I had my sixth chemo treatment which consists of adriamycin (a.k.a. "The Red Devil") and Cytoxan. I'm finally done with something! I have four more chemo treatments to go. Instead of the previous cocktail, my next treatments will be a chemotherapy drug called Taxol. I have no idea how this one will make me feel, but I'm hoping not as bad as the previous drug combo!

The A/C combo knocked me down pretty hard after our last meeting, Honestly, not a really nice thing to do to your dance partner! I didn't really want to go back yesterday for the final installment, but a commitment is a commitment after all. Sigh.

"Pink Out!"

I'm not terribly shy. I know, I can hear those of you who know me laughing right about now. However, I'm not going to win an award for "most outgoing" either. So, it was a surprise to me when I found myself on stage in front of a crowd of people last week! Of course, I couldn't really see them with all the lights in my eyes!

I got to attend the Mizzou gymnastics "Pink Out" meet which raises money for Ellis Fischel Cancer Center (a place I'm intimately familiar with now). They needed some token breast cancer survivors to honor on stage before the meet started and since I am a big fan of free stuff, I went! Seven of us walked on stage and waved (we tossed around the idea of dancing Gangnam Style, but we chickened out)! Then we each got a free t-shirt and a pink carnation (which my daughter promptly stole from me)!

The gymnastics meet was a lot of fun and we enjoyed the night out! We will do it again sometime as regular, paying guests!

"Long time, no talk!"

It has been a while since I have written. I have a good excuse! I didn't want to be negative, I didn't feel good and I was out of town for a while enjoying family for Christmas! I guess that is more than one excuse.

Christmas was wonderful. We got to spend a week in Tulsa with our families. The only not wonderful part was that I got shingles. I do not mean the roof kind either! The nerve pain has calmed down and I thought I was in the clear, but now an intense itching has started in on my left side. Will this ever be done? Go away already!

I had chemo number five the week after Christmas. That puts me at the halfway mark for chemo. I guess that is good, but I am having a hard time seeing the glass half full. I guess this treatment was my "freak out" chemo. It knocked me down so hard that I don't think I can do it again! As if anyone is asking if I want too or not! I felt better about not being so strong about it after talking to someone I met when I was first diagnosed. She and I are about the same age and going through this about the same time. She said she "freaked out" after the third a/c chemo treatment. I waited until my fifth to have a melt down, so I guess I'm not alone! I have one more a/c treatment (dreading it!) and then I switch to taxol. I am really hoping that taxol is somehow an easier drug! A person can always hope!