"No Hair? Don't Care!"

I have always been afraid to cut my hair shorter than shoulder length (because I like pony tails) and often grow it long. So, I was worried about the hair loss. Turns out...I don't care after all! I really thought being bald would bother me, but it doesn't. Not even a little.

I usually opt for hats in public. At home, I wear them if my head is cold. If not, I dare to go bare! I have a wig that I haven't worn yet. I did get it out and try it on recently. It felt weird! It is now brushed and sitting atop the Styrofoam head on my dresser. As a fun art project, Kaylee decorated the plain white head for me. I'm not sure my blush looks exactly like that and I certainly don't have long eyelashes anymore, but she did give me my blue eyes!

 

In the scheme of things, having no hair doesn't feel like a big deal. Having surgery, chemo and later radiation feels like a bigger deal. Even that stuff isn't as hard to get through as I thought it would be. There is no choice in the matter, you just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. It is what it is. At times, it is even a blessing. I've met some wonderful people and had a lot of great care. I have seen friends and family members rally around me and I am much more mindful of all the precious little moments in life. I don't sweat as many small things. I hope these are the lessons that stay with me once my hair grows back.





 





"Hats, Teeth and Other Misc. Stuff"

I'm in the middle. It's been two weeks since my second round of chemo and it is just  less than two weeks until chemo number three. These are supposed to be my "good days." They are, from a chemo standpoint. However, my mouth has betrayed me. The pain from having my tooth pulled at the oral surgeon's last week is lingering. Way. Too. Long. I don't know what is taking it so long to heal, but a hurting mouth makes everything a little less fun.

I also don't know what to do about my hair. What's left of it, that is. I'm in mandatory hat mode. Without the hat, I look a dog with the mange. I've lost 75 to 80% of my hair. I'm just guessing. I know that God knows the number of every hair on my head. That must be an easier job for him now. For now, I need more hats I guess. My Mom bought me a cute one and my Aunt surprised me by sending me a hat made just for me! It was a nice surprise!

 



I'm also very appreciative of those who have made food for us. It has made life much easier! Thank you to Kristin Steelman for the three frozen, homemade meals! They didn't spend much time in my freezer! Thanks to my Mom for leaving some chili in the freezer! Thanks to Val for always surprising us with dinner! Thanks to my cousin Joni for the Applebee's gift card (we recently enjoyed some 'car side to go')! Love you all!

"Thankfulness...Right Now?"

I realize it is too early for Thanksgiving, but why procrastinate? So, I am working on thankfulness. It seems like bad timing to take on this task right now, but I know it is what I have to do to get through the days, weeks and months ahead. I am currently thankful that I was able to spend a few days back home in Tulsa to celebrate my baby's first birthday (a bit early)! I am thankful for my parents, grandparents, brother, cousins, aunt, uncle, in-laws (and the occasional outlaws) that came out to show their support for our family. It was a solid group of people who care about us. That is something for which to be thankful.
I also am thankful for the break from thinking about medical jargon and doctors. Of course, I'd be lying if I didn't admit it was always in the back of my mind. But, we are back home to Columbia preparing to face the journey that lies ahead. I want to ask Robert Frost which road is the one less traveled, because if it is this one then I'm not sure he had the right idea!

So, I'll try to keep working on thankfulness in the midst of things that don't make me feel like doing so. I know there are many people who are currently dealing with situations much worse than mine. But, as a preacher once told me, it may only be a paper cut, but it is your paper cut and it still hurts!