"I do not have good news"

Breast cancer at age 38 was not on my "to do" list. My plan was to save all major health issues for when I got older. I would have more time, no children in the house, fewer responsibilities, and...(wait)...yep, I think I just heard God laugh at my plan. I was far from laughing two and a half weeks ago when the doctor called and said "I do not have good news." I didn't really have to hear more. I knew what that meant.

I was having pain in my right breast on and off for a few weeks. I knew it was nothing and that going to the doctor about it would be just downright silly, but I finally decided to check it out anyway. She felt a lump. She called it a grape and had me feel it too. I still wasn't worried. After all, she didn't seem worried and told me not to "freak out." She ordered a diagnostic mammogram and I sighed inside (because I really thought I could avoid the big squish for two more years)! While I was bemoaning the mammogram (in my head) she explained that a biopsy could come next, but even still that was nothing to "freak out" about. The last thing she said was "if it is breast cancer, then you have a free pass to freak out!"  Honestly, who really thought that was going to happen?!